Determination

It was my first day back at my boring, “normal” day job today after 9 days off (a mixture of annual leave, bank holidays, and weekends) and I have to say it was torture. I don’t say that lightly, I think I would have preferred to have my finger nails pulled off slowly than endure today (had I had the choice beforehand or known it was going to be quite so tedious, angering, frustrating and painful. 

I won’t bore you with the details but the short version is that I got to work only to be assaulted by 60+ emails, (including a slightly pissy one from my line manager – me = not pleased as 1. Some of the things mentioned were not my fault/misunderstanding, 2. She is now off on holiday and 3. They could have waited until she got back and not left for me to fume over on my first day back when I already have a 100 things to do and I’ve got the post ‘9 days off’ blues.) A barrage of mistakes and badly done cover work that I needed to sort out. So as you can imagine, I did not have a great day (please excuse the rant) and to top it off it was gloomy and raining the whole day. 

The good thing about this load of crappy work stuff is that it has made me more determined to do SFX make up, be good at it and make it my career. For one, I love SFX make up, and therefore how bad can a job be when it’s something that you love doing? Also, I realised that I would care more about my job and doing it really well if it was doing something I was really interested in and where I’d happily accept criticisms as instead of “I don’t like how you set out that spread sheet” (example or boring work related query) they would be maybe “could you make that look gorier” or “how about we use this material instead of that material”…

I guess deep down I’ve always known it but the frustrating horribleness of today has proved that I’m not an office person. I need to be creative. I need to feel like what I do matters.